Why are Men Attracted to Transgender Women?

For some people, finding a transgender woman attractive is the equivalent of being homosexual. However, these tend to be men with little connection with their own feminine side or any understanding of the concept of what it means to feel that you have been born into the wrong body.

Finding a transgender woman attractive or desirable and being interested in transsexual dating doesn’t mean that you have to be automatically gay or straight. Instead, it means that you appreciate that person for whom they are: a woman. Studies have found that the arousal patterns of cisgender men work in response to both cisgender and transgender women, while gay men are only aroused by men.

The bottom line is that if you find yourself attracted to a trans woman, you are unlikely to be a homosexual man.

Instead, you are open enough to allow yourself to establish a genuine connection with an attractive woman, regardless of her past, or the gender she was born with and also might enjoy the extraordinary benefits of a trans woman. For many, they reunite the best of both worlds.

A sweet short hair girl wearing rainbow mascara doing a heart gesture

What do Trans Women Look for in a Man?

You have to treat a transgender woman as you would any other woman. However, for many men, this can be a bit of a hurdle. The idea of walking down the street, holding hands or kissing a trans lady can feel like a secret they don’t want to share in public. Check out this article for more information on what it is like to date someone who’s transgender.

If this resonates with you, then you might need to ask yourself some searching questions. For example, would you have the same problem showing affection in public, hand in hand with a cisgender woman? If your response is ‘no’, then you have your answer: if you and your date are happy and connected, then it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

The problem for many trans women is that they are often kept ‘in the shadows’; a clandestine partner that is never allowed out into the real world. However, this is tantamount to abuse and, at the very least, is entirely disrespectful to the woman you are dating.

If you’d feel safer keeping your relationship with a transgender woman hidden away, then you might need to consider whether you should be dating a transwoman at all.

How to Treat a Transgender Woman

While you might be someone who doesn’t feel constrained by the idea that gender and sexuality are binary, you might also need to think about what’s expected from you.

  • Treat your date as she deserves. Transgender women are women – no more, no less. As such, you should treat her with respect, care and attention.
  • Don’t let sex get in the way. As many trans women are only too aware, there are plenty of fetishists out there who only want to date a trans woman to find out what it’s like to have sex with them. If that’s the case then you’d be better off looking at dating sites for trans hook-ups.
  • If you’re embarking on a relationship with a trans woman, wait until the time is right before you get intimate. The chances are that she’ll have ‘The Conversation’ with you long before things get hot and steamy.
  • Don’t be afraid to show affection. There’s nothing more attractive than a man who is comfortable enough in his own skin to show respectful affection to his date, wherever he might be. There is still some stigma surrounding dating trans women but showing that you don’t care what anyone else thinks is a sign of your own personal and sexual confidence.
  • Be as open as you can. We’ve all got baggage and sharing yours with your date is a great indicator that you can be trusted. However, if she’d rather not talk about her life pre-transition, don’t push the topic.

Woman with purple hair and beannie looking far away with a rainbow lens telescope

Remember: You’re Not Unusual

Many men who find themselves attracted to trans women can believe that they are alone. However, as things progress for the LGBTQ+ community and society in general, more and more straight and cisgender men are ‘outing’ themselves as ‘trans-amorous’.

There are online forums for men who find transwomen attractive, where you can discuss your feeling with other guys in the same boat. Finding trans women attractive isn’t unusual or weird, as long as you are respectful of the person you are dating.

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